If God didn’t exist, I wouldn’t be standing here today.  I’ve been depressed, feeling hopeless, and suicidal.  Even though I had everything I needed in my life, I was still missing something big.  I didn’t have a purpose to live.  When I was planning on my third suicide attempt, I was in a huge pain because I knew I wasn’t supposed to die yet, but didn’t know anything better than to hurt myself.  I wasn’t a believer at that time, but I prayed, “God, if you really really really do exist, please have somebody come help me in 60 seconds”.  I’ve just learned about God’s perfect timing the day before, so I decided to count 120 seconds instead.  When the 120-second was up, two of my Christian friends came to my house knowing something was wrong with me again.  I was immediately put in the hospital to keep my life safe and sent back to Japan for the treatment and to be with my family.

      The gorgeous day on October 1st, 2005, I was reading a Christian book on the balcony, “The Purpose Driven Life” and that was the moment I felt God’s love and His existence.  Here’s the poem I wrote on that day.  “I love you so much, God.  I’ve never felt this good.  The warmth of the sun that is created by You is a hug from You.  As my cheek gets warmer I feel your kiss.  I can see the beautiful blue sky because You created my special eyes.  Thank you so much for your love and my existence of today in this earth.  I just want to get to know you more and more, so I can get even closer to you.  I love you”.

      Now I have a purpose in my life to live for God, who has created me.  I join a wonderful small group here at the Tokyo Baptist Church.  They are truly my new family, and I haven’t felt lonely since.  I’m still dealing with my depression, but I’m making a huge progress to heal myself.  God made this possible for me to come this far only in 2 months and let so many wonderful people come into my life, and I am so happy today.  May I encourage anyone here who has felt as I did, please join a small group now and experience God’s love.